Each person has a different perspective on Mother’s Day. We all have different stories of celebration and heartache. Your emotions may consist of admiration, love, and wonderful memories, or it may look more like heartache, anger, or loss. And who’s to say that it’s the same from one year to the next? Life is full of ups and downs and bumps along the way. Thankfully, we as a church body are family who will rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). Always keep in mind that not everyone is living your story. Reach out in love and kindness. The following are a collection of stories from our body.
I have to admit. I am not really a fan of Mother’s Day. While the thought behind such a holiday is sweet, there are times when it is nothing short of an ordeal. My mom and I have never really had a great relationship. She has been emotionally and physically abusive ever since I could remember.
This spring is nothing different. As we approach Mother’s Day I am faced with the hard reality that I want to show my mother Jesus (i.e., love and grace) but honestly she has degraded my mothering skills and torn down my husband, and it takes everything within me to forgive and try to “rise up and call her blessed.”
The Lord has given me this mom because I am supposed to learn something BIG. I am not quite sure what it is, and I might never see it, but until the day I get to heaven, I will continue to love my mother. She, even through all of her fallacies, raised me. She blessed me with food on the table and an awareness of others that has shaped me into who I am today. Mother’s Day isn’t always sunshine and roses. It is a time of reflection for most moms. We think about the mother who raised us and the mother we have become.
We have a tendency to compare the two and compare ourselves to the moms around us when in reality we are each on our own different journies, and we are all at different stages in life. I want to encourage you that if your story is similar to mine, DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO YOUR MOM. Do NOT feel in any way, shape or form that you are her. You are YOU. A new creation in Christ.
Reflecting on your motherhood journey is ok! Be proactive and intentional with how you are shaping your children, but DO NOT for one second think that you aren’t good enough. Words that have been spoken at you do NOT define you. TRUTH defines you and YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH KING. He loves you and YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!
To me, Mother’s Day was always a great time to show my mom gratitude and love for being the amazingly strong, brave and sacrificial mother she’s always been.
Although I always knew I wanted to be a mom someday, I never actually pictured myself celebrating Mother’s Day until I became a mom but didn’t have a baby to prove my motherhood. What I mean by this is that I got pregnant in January 2017 and lost that precious baby just a month later.
Those 8 weeks of carrying a tiny little embryo transformed me in ways I could never have imagined before. I felt full of life (even or especially through the morning sickness), and my heart was just bursting with happiness, gratitude to God and with an immense love for someone I had never met, and that didn’t even look like a human yet. To say I was devastated to find out our first baby’s heart was no longer beating is an understatement. It was like I lost a big part of me that I would never get back.
The grieving process went slow and when I thought I was making progress, Mother’s Day came around, and it reminded me that, in people’s eyes, I was still not a mom; therefore I couldn’t and wouldn’t be celebrated. I indeed didn’t celebrate it because It caused more pain and seemed silly to own a holiday when I didn’t have a baby of my own to hold. Majority of our friends and family members didn’t even know we had expected a baby, much less that we had lost it, so it wouldn’t have made sense anyway.
This painful feeling about not being able to celebrate Mother’s Day made me realize that I had actually become a mom from the moment I saw those pink lines on the pregnancy test.
When we found out I was pregnant, my whole perspective about life changed. I was no longer eating for myself, I was eating to provide nutrients to my growing baby. I was no longer working for my own self-growth, I was working to show my child what it looked like to enjoy the fruits of our labor and to provide for her future. I was no longer worried about my appearance in a vain way, I was desiring to grow my belly to see her growing in a healthy way. I was simply no longer thinking about myself, I was only thinking about her, and those loving, selfless, and sacrificial behaviors are what made me become a mom.
Although I wasn’t able to enjoy Mother’s Day 2017, I looked forward to the next one whether or not I’d have a baby by then. The Lord blessed us with a baby boy in March 2018, and I had the opportunity to rejoice that following Mother’s Day next to him. Now, Mother’s Day to me means celebrating the miracle of life, the ability to see a part of yourself in the form of another human being, and most importantly, it means that I was chosen to lead and nurture another child of God – and that is the most amazing job I get to have.
After more than a year later of having Kean, now more than ever, I get to enjoy motherhood to the fullest as he gets to love back on me with kisses, clingy hugs, and adorable “momma” calls. He is the pure definition of love in human form and the promise of God’s eternal love for me. Mother’s Day means the world to me.
My mom did not come from a family of believers, but when she was a teenager in the 1960’s she moved from Chicago to Goshen, Indiana! There she informally became part of a Mennonite family who taught her about gardening, canning, sewing, caring for animals, and loving God. She became a believer in college and passed her faith down to me; now I am passing it down to my children.
Mother’s Day is a day to remember and recognize the role motherhood plays in making disciples. We cannot control our children or their decisions, but we can be an influence and a model of authentic faith. I hope I raise a “Timothy” or two.
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Louis and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” (2 Tim 1:5)
As we celebrate Mother’s Day, it is easy to go the Hallmark greeting card route.
“So thankful,” “You are my inspiration,” “You make every day brighter.”
Somehow, these are hollow and empty for those of us that didn’t have a traditional childhood. For me, Mother’s Day means something a little different.
My mom and I had a rough time as I was growing up. She was a single mom that struggled with substance abuse and the lifestyle that goes with it. I, in turn, followed the same path.
We both came to a point twenty plus years ago that we chose to walk down a different path, one of health and life. Part of that new path included the reconciliation of our relationship. My mom has become a dear friend that I now get to do life with, walking through the good and the bad. There is life in our relationship where there was once hate and animosity.
Mother’s Day is a yearly reminder of where we were, and where we are now, about the love that can grow when we stop considering our position as right and the other wrong. It is a reminder of not just this earthly relationship, but our eternal relationship with our Creator, the One that was willing to sacrifice what is just for a relationship that could not exist outside of intentional reconciliation.
So, this Mother’s Day, there isn’t a Hallmark card that can capture the depth of love and appreciation that I have today for my mother. All I can say is, I love you mom, and I am grateful every day that God gave us the chance to be reconciled and have the opportunity to walk in life together!